


Bucky and Steve Realize that Water Isn’t the Only Way to Quench Thirst

by Gemini_Afterglow



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Explicit Language, Implied Sexual Content, No Smut, Reader-Interactive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:21:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21812872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemini_Afterglow/pseuds/Gemini_Afterglow
Summary: Steve and Bucky learn the meaning of thirsty and how the internet is using them as inspiration. In other words, it's an imagined episode of if Captain America and Winter Soldier Read Thirst Tweets on Buzzfeed.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Bucky and Steve Realize that Water Isn’t the Only Way to Quench Thirst

“No, Tony. This is the worst idea you’ve ever had, and you built Ultron!” You exclaimed. As the Avengers PR and Media Director, it was your responsibility to protect the superheroes’ image and handle any media requests that come their way.

“I think it’s a brilliant idea. You’re the one who says that Dick and Jane need to learn more about modern zeitgeist” Tony says, referring to Steve and Bucky. 

“Yes, I said they need to learn to navigate modern media like the internet, but this is like feeding them to the sharks!” You were getting anxious now, knowing that it was not going to go well for the two super soldiers.

“Look, if they do this, it will break the internet! And maybe even give them a chance to get out there a bit more and dip their wicks. I’m tired of seeing them sitting around here like two lumps on a log validating each other’s feelings.” 

“Tony…” You spoke slowly hoping that he’d see some reason, “I can get them to maybe do a fun interview with LADBible on which snacks taste better, 40’s or current. But you want then to do Buzzfeed Thirst Tweets??? Cap’s brain is going to explode.”

“Maybe he’ll finally learn a thing or two about pleasing a lady. Anyway it’s a done deal. Buzzfeed had a last minute cancellation with Deadpool and they are expecting Ace and Gary in 2 hours.”

You rolled your eyes and stomped out of his lab. You heard him telling Friday to remind him to call his lawyer to see if he could get some of that adsense money Buzzfeed was going to rolling in with this video.

*********************

You entered the common room finding your poor victims sitting around the kitchen island having coffee with Sam and Clint. Clint drinking his right out of the carafe.

“Oh hey doll! Got a media call for us?” Bucky waved you over.

“Ummmm well actually yeah I do.” You slowly slid onto the stool. “I have an interview for you and Steve with a really popular Youtube channel.” 

Bucky’s brow crinkled but he nodded “Yeah sure, you’re always saying we should explore online stuff, could be fun.” 

You gave them a bright smile “Yeah! It will be great. Fine. Perfectly fine. You guys will be great!” 

Meanwhile Sam and Clint are looking back and forth at each other knowing that it wasn’t that simple. They were men of modern times. They knew what kind a of deep dark cesspool the interwebs can be.

“So, Y/N, what channel is it anyways?” Clint asked with a twinkle in his eye.

You gave him the stink eye “Well, it’s Buzzfeed. One of the biggest channels on Youtube. They have lots of channels that talk about all kinds of genres.” Steve gave you his winning smile thinking that you landed them a great opportunity to talk about the great work they’ve been doing lately, especially some charitable causes they have been supporting.

“Which series is it, Y/N?” Sam asked, leaning his elbows on the counter with his chin in his hand.

Sign. “It’s Buzzfeedthirsttweets”. 

“Slower, darling” Clint said.

“It’s Buzzfeed Thirst Tweets, ok?!” Sam and Clint started to cackle. Bucky and Steve looked at each other confused.

“Sorry doll, I don’t know how those combo of words mean anything” Steve shook his head never ceasing to be amazed at why millennials loved using funny buzzwords to describe everything. 

“Well it’s this really fun type of segment where you read people’s positive opinions of what they think of you.”

Bucky and Steve nodded and thought how bad would it be having to hear people praise their work. “Yeah great! We’re in!”.

By this time Clint was setting up his laptop to record live streams and giggling madly into his phone as he texts Nat. Sam on the other hand looked indignant. “Yo, how come I wasn’t invited? I get lots of thirst tweets! I make people thirsty!!!”

“Sam, it doesn’t make good media if you’ve already read all your own thirst tweets and have them memorized.” You admonished.

“Not my fault my fans are very imaginative people, know what I mean?” and he gives you a big wink. “Oh this is gonna be good! Good luck lads!” and with that he ran down the hallway likely spreading the news to anyone who would listen.

Steve and Bucky began to look a little worried at the reactions “So what does thirsty tweets mean exactly?”  
“So I explained Twitter to you guys right?” they nod. “So it’s people posting tweets on Twitter about how much they love you. Thirst is sort of the new slang for admiring you.”

“Uh huh. Doll, I may be from the 40’s but even I know people on the internet aren’t cordial,” Bucky points out, “So be blunt, what’s Thirst?”

“Ok ok, Thirst means horny” You say quietly, covering your face behind your hands. Why did it feel like you were explaining the birds and the bees to your 9 year old nephew?

“Oh is that all? Yeah no worries. We got it. Buck and I were in the army!” Steve proudly exclaims crossing his thick muscular arms. “Trust me, we don’t startle that easily.”

At the studio, you quickly get ushered to the set. Turns out so many staffers were eager to meet the two gorgeous superheroes you asked that it be a closed set for everyone’s sanity. The boys got mic’d up, a big plastic mug was thrust into Bucky’s hands and the producer quickly explained that they were to take turns pulling out a piece of paper, reading it, and to feel free and make any kind of comment that came to their mind. They nod and indicated they were ready to roll.

“Hi! I’m James but people call me Bucky, and this is Steve or as you know him, Captain America!”

“Bucky and I just love reading your thirst twerks!”

You slumped down into a chair behind the cameras and groaned. This was not going to go well.

Steve pulls out the first slip of paper and his face blanches. {I want you to (gulp) rip my pussy apart like a piece of firewood} He stares at the camera as the paper flutters to the floor from his fingers “Well…ummm…I don’t really want to hurt you, and I’m not sure how uh that would make you horny?”

Bucky, catching on, looks almost afraid to stick his hand into the mug. {I want you to dip your metal arm into a vat of KY jelly and fill my bussy} “yeah sure, that sounds like fun” Bucky gives a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and you hear him whisper to Steve “Is KY Jelly like aspic?”

The producer is waving at Steve to get on with picking another piece of paper. He coughs and reads {Damn dat ass! I bet I can bounce his shield on that!} Steve beams and exclaims “I have been told it’s America’s ass!” 

Bucky thinking maybe they got into a rough start, felt a bit more confident picking the next Tweet {Those thighs so THICC! I want to ride them while he calls me Roy Rogers and he can be my Howdy Doodie Boy} except Bucky read out THICC by spelling it out. “I always loved playing cowboys and Indians when we grew up in Brooklyn” Another forced smile.

Steve still high on his ass compliment dives into the mug {When Cap says Avengers Assemble, I picture Black Panther, Captain America, Thor and Iron Man (in the suit) filling up every hole in my body} Steve adjusts himself in his seat and rubs the back of his neck “Heh, you guys are more dehydrated than thirsty” and starts awkwardly laughing at his own joke and thrusting the mug back at Bucky. Bucky on the other hand looks put out that he wasn't included in the scenario.

{I wonder if the Winter Soldier’s dick is made of vibranium, and if so would that mean I would be fucking a dildo?} “Ma’am, it’s 100% James Buchanan Barnes!” and he winks. 

You watch in second hand embarrassment at the poor Captain although Bucky seems to be warming up and getting into the swing of things. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Steve gives Bucky the side eye as Bucky encourages him to pull out another slip {Did the serum enhance all parts of Captain America, if ya know what I mean? Winky face, chef’s kiss. Thank you Dr. Erskine, you did God’s work!}

Bucky claps Steve on the shoulder and pipes in “Yeah he’s huge now, at least 12 inches, and thick too. But he was pretty packed even when he was a skinny little punk. Probably weighed half of his 98 pounds!” Steve groans and covers his face. 

The producers are furiously whispering to each other about having to get bigger bandwidth when this segment launches. 

The producer chimes on “OK this has been amazing but unfortunately we only have time for one more Tweet each.” Steve looked so relieved while Bucky pouted a little at having to finish up so soon.

{Bucky’s hair is so beautiful, I bet if I run my fingers through it as he drills me into the mattress that it feels like silk or a unicorn’s mane} Bucky slides his hands through his hair “The trick is apple cider vinegar rinses.” 

Steve gives Bucky a double take and shakes his head. With a deep breath he pulls out the last piece of paper. {I want to ride the Captain’s face while he’s in the stealth suit with his exposed forearms gripping my ass until I soak his beard}. Again Bucky chimes in “Black Widow and I were trying to convince Stevie to grow his beard back! Maybe if you all tweet more about it, the Cap will listen.” Steve looked alarmed thinking more of these tweets will flood the internet while Bucky flashes the camera with his megawatt smile.

You quickly gathered them into the elevator while Steve was still in stunned silence with his mouth opening and closing not knowing what to say. As the elevator door closes Bucky asks “Hey doll, where do I find this Twitter again?”


End file.
